The Strange Days of Artemis Fowl
by BiblioCentric
Summary: When an American freak show driver named Attikol decides he's going to take a different approach to seizing Emily The Stange's Black Rock magic,he unexpectedly & unwillingly gains the attention of the People. Now the American genius will meet the European genius, and Emily and Artemis will be forced to learn from each other in an attempt to stop the new and fairy improved Attikol.
1. Black Rock is Back

**Thanks so much to the awesomely talented emmitz on deviantART for letting me use her image. A link to her page is on my profile. **

A/N. Now don't run away as soon as you see the plot summary, read on and give it a shot. It's been collecting dust in the Emily The Strange section for awhile.

Oh my. Let's see how this turns out. Now If you don't know who Emily The Strange is I suggest you look her up. She's not an OC of mine. She's pretty much the reincarnation of individuality. This used to be a romance plot between Artemis and Emily, but I'm still a little A/H wounded. (Darn you Colfer, darn you!)

Disclaimer: Emily The Strange and Co. is Rob Reger's and Artemis Fowl and Co. is undeniably Eoin Colfer's.

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Chapter 1

Dublin was busy today.

At least that's what Artemis thought as he walked behind his two younger brothers. The city was jam-packed with people: men, women, children, citizens, tourists. They were all enough to make Artemis wonder how exactly Butler could keep up. The behemoth ex-bodyguard was, as per usual, hiding among the masses as best as he could, which was astounding given his size. His brothers, Myles and Beckett, were charging ahead, sticking their face as close to the store windows as possible, scaring the occasional little girl that walked by, and overall being adorable nuisances.

Dublin's pubs were full, as well as all its toy stores and antique shops. Beckett had tried to torpedo his way into a pastry shop, but the place had been so fulsome it had created a ricochet effect. He'd speared right into Myles, who kicked him, and then the two proceeded to whack each other until Artemis (meaning Butler) was forced to intervene. From what Artemis could tell, there wasn't a festival in town, and winter wasn't the best season for tourists, so he wasn't entirely sure what it was that was attracting so many people.

He wasn't sure, that is, until he saw the sign.

UNCLE ATTIKOL'S TRAVELING CARAVAN.

It was a dismal excuse for propaganda, but it was clearly working. Now Artemis could easily follow the people's line of sight. The red and yellow vehicle could be seen between the crowd's gaps, but whatever was so captivating about the circus act couldn't be viewed completely. At this point, his little brothers had stopped arguing and observed the spectacle with curious eyes...too curious.

Artemis blocked their view of the side-show. "Off we go then, Myles, Beckett, come quickly." He said it with slight desperation. Oh, but his brother's could tell. They smiled.

_Heavens no…_Thought Artemis.

They ran.

"Miles! Beckett! You simpletons! Come back!" From behind him, he could here Butler chuckling. Artemis tried not to heave a frustrated sigh. Only his brothers could manage to shake him out of his stolid demeanor.

"I don't understand why Juliet had to go on a vacation today of all days." He droned.

"You know very well it's not a vacation." The Eurasian man corrected. He was right though. Artemis hadn't been told what she was leaving for exactly, but he assumed it had something to do with pro-wrestling, nun-chucks and katanas more than tanning at a beach. Still Artemis felt cheated; he had not been informed his younger brothers would want to visit main Dublin and now, simply put, he was stuck babysitting.

"I suppose it will do us no harm to watch…a freak show." Even saying it made Artemis wither a bit inside. He absolutely despised leaving the outskirts to visit the city; to him it meant forced interaction with society.

Butler patted him on the back. "You're a lot looser now that you're sixteen." He grunted. Artemis had been hearing that from him for the past three months. He shook his head and walked on. As he got closer to the crowd, he smelled something familiar, a spicy scent…and then he felt that almost imperceptible rise in his heart rate that meant he was being watched. _Well if it isn't…_

"Mudman." I light-hearted and feminine chuckle followed. "Don't blow my cover now."

He smiled only faintly and kept walking. Holly was following; he could tell, and when Domovoi Butler stood in the exact place where she would've been standing (if she wasn't flying) he spoke. "What brings you here today Short? Did you miss me?"

A snort. "Hardly, I'm on a mission. Nothing serious, so I'll indulge you! It seems like a very ancient power arrived back to Ireland today." She paused for dramatic effect, but when she got none, she frowned and went on. "Very old, we're talking when we still interacted with you mudpeople. Apparently it came back three days after this silly man called Attikol appeared."

Butler nodded as if he was the one being talked to, even though none of it concerned him. Holly continued. "You see that man up stage." Artemis and Butler had arrived at the caravan now. The audience was _awe_-ing and _oh_-ing at a one man fire/sword eating show. On top of a make-shift stage was a rugged looking man. Artemis nodded and Holly continued. "Believe it or not, he's a descendant of a sorcerer."

"Attikol" was a slender man, raggedy, and intimidating. He didn't seem like the type of person who wanted to entertain people, but Artemis knew that didn't mean much these days. He looked at Butler, but addressed Holly. "A sorcerer? I'm aware they're basically warlocks."

She smirked audibly."Mmm, no, that's where you're wrong Fowl. Warlocks are fully of Elvin origin, but sorcerers are entirely human, as well as witches." She said matter-a-factly. Artemis raised a perfect dark eyebrow.

"You mean to tell me sorcerers and witches exist?" He wasn't totally surprised, but he felt slighted for not knowing the information beforehand.

He heard a soft _whiiiirrr_ from behind him. "There are a lot of things in this world that exist Artemis, you of all people should know that."

"And I do" He defended himself. "And I suppose this sorcerer's powers where derived from some Elvin element." He heard a small huff, and then Holly nodded. "Yes, you're right again boy genius and I don't think you know _how_ right. It was an actual element, _necrossedimentarus."_

"Black rock?"

"Yes, actually it's a liquid metal at room temperature. It was an element found years ago by an elf scientist. It seemed to effuse magick. After our little debacle with you humans the scientist took it below, but the thing is, the rock couldn't survive too long under the earth. The heat weakened it. The element was so human like, meaning it exhibited eerie human behavior. The elf decided it would be best to give it up. Of course, he couldn't just hand it to anyone. Above the surface he had a lover, a _human_ lover, seems common back then." She snorted. "She was so against the war to begin with that she'd opted to come with him, but he'd forbade it. He gifted the element to her as a parting gift, with permission from his elders of course."

"He gave it to one woman and now there are plenty of sorcerers and witches?" He wondered.

"Well no, like I said before; the black rock was like a human being. It chose the woman as its sole protector, but like an element, it can be used by anyone."

"Interesting. So, is this man _Attikol_ a descendant of this woman or a mere user?"

"Eh…I don't know. Sir Horse Bum didn't tell me much, just that I needed to come here and make sure the magick wasn't being used as some sort of evil machination."

To Artemis it seemed that as an evil machination the black rock would've had a much more practical use. Holly poked his head. "The magic isn't here. I'm not picking it up. It's in Ireland though, but it's untraceable."

"I see, and where do you think it might be." He asked.

"You mean _who_ do I think it might be?"

"I don't follow."

"Trust me, I didn't either. It's so…

..strange."

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**A/N** **Reason this is not marked as a crossover. Plain and Simple. Check out the Emily the Strange fanfiction section. *Tumbleweeds and a gust of wind* Hope you guys can let it slide. I will eventually put it back because it makes me feel weird to have it fully exposed to the Artemis section.**


	2. The Arrival

**A/N. Read and Review. Criticism is welcomed.**

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_For__ an actress to be a success, she must have the face of a Venus, the brains of a Minerva, the grace of Terpsichore, the memory of a MaCaulay, the figure of Juno, and the hide of a rhinoceros._

_-Ethel Barrymore_

Let us introduce Emily Strange. Not many people know who she is, but those who do agree that she's a lot more than she seems. Miss Strange is a porcelain-pale American girl and the very picture of counterculture. Because of her black attire, expressionless face, and four black cat companions, she has been labeled the Goth anarchist among the people who know her. She's the only child to be emancipated by the age of three, and voted most likely to be Evil Empress of The World. Emily Strange is also (unbeknownst to the American government) the greatest invent-tress of her time, with an IQ frighteningly higher than any other normal American girl, or scientist. She is also a very special kind of witch.

A Dark Aunt.

...

A day earlier…on an overpriced flight to Dublin

"Will you quit groaning already. YOU were the one who wanted to go to Ireland for some reason that you DON'T want to tell me about." Patti Strange scolded her daughter on a first class flight to Dublin, Ireland. The plane tickets had been a hassle to obtain, but with some charm and slight cleavage Patti had managed to snag them. Emily had gagged when Patti came out from the airline office waving the two boarding passes triumphantly.

"I wanted to go _alone. _Oh, and just so you know if that guy back at the airport turns out to be Mr. Perfect, I am NOT calling him '_Daddy_'." She slumped in her chair and grumbled incoherently.

"No worries sweetie. And just so you know, even though you're sixteen now, I am never, you hear me, NEVER letting you travel abroad alone." Patti adjusted her seat and laid her head back on the comfortable cushion rest.

"You need a boyfriend, or better yet a baby! Patti, seriously, how am I going to become the next Dark Aunt, the whole point of my existence, if I don't have a sister or a brother?" Emily whispered accusingly. Her mom laughed.

"Beats me, maybe you'll just have to continue the line yourself." She winked. This caused Emily to frown horribly and whip her head away from her.

"Don't say ridiculous stuff, Mom. Maybe you'll meet a nice Irish guy in Dublin. I hear they're good-looking and romantic." Pointedly, Emily turned back to her mother. "Just the way you like them, right?"

"I guess. Personally, I can do without the romantic, but if that's the way _you_ want him." She quipped.

The discussion ended there.

The entire reason Emily was going to Ireland had absolutely nothing to do with attractive Irish men. Completely the opposite, this had to do with the ugliest, most vile, non-Irish man alive. Attikol. Three days ago, the menace had fled America and travelled to Europe on a cargo plane. He didn't take Jakey, that was good, but he'd managed to capture Raven and Ümlaut. That was not so good. She wondered how on earth he'd managed to overpower her inhumanly strong and powerful golem. It worried her quite a bit.

"You know Emily," Patti said a couple of minutes after her nap. "The first of our descendants is from Ireland."

"Yeah, yeah I learned that in Strange 101, powerful magick, blah, Emeralda Aisteach, blah, rumour has it she fell in love with a gnome."

"An elf, Emily, an elf"

"I know I'm just busting your chops."

Patti shook her head. Seconds later the pilot announced they were landing. Emily sighed in content; finally she'd be able to liberate her poor cramped up kitties from their airline prison. The four cats had tried to claw their way out of their cages and Sabbath even tried to chew his way out. Needless to say, Emily felt horrible.

"Can't wait to get out." She murmured.

"Me neither, I read that the outskirts of Dublin are beautiful this time of year, we just might have to live there." Patti joked.

"Mom, you wouldn't be able to understand half the signs in the outskirts. The city would be a much better place to stay in." Emily could tell by the look on her mother's face that wasn't going to happen.

"I think the _Maigh-dea-nacha _hotel will be nice." She smiled smugly. Emily cringed at the horrible pronunciation. She wished she'd kept the fact that she was going to Ireland to herself. As the plane approached its destination, Emily pressed her temple to the window next to her. She had to admit that from above, even in the winter, Ireland was magnificent. It was all different patches of healthy greens, auburn tree tops, and rolling grass hills. She could see big open fields and winding water paths, and occasionally she saw the top of a lavish mansion.

"This place is pretty cool."

"Isn't it?" Patti smiled. "I think I'm going to visit an art gallery or maybe some castle ruins. Now that bares the question: what exactly are _you_ going to be doing?" Emily could feel her mother's eyes on her, but she just shrugged. She'd told her before it wasn't anything dangerous. At least that is what Emily hoped. At sixteen, Emily had come to realize that she couldn't always be lucky. Over the past three years, she has managed to get herself into some very sticky situations. She has messed with members of organized crime, assassins, spies, the occasional ninja, some samurais, and even some evil lawyers. All and all, she's learned never to underestimate her opponent, ninjas never like to be unmasked, and perverted lawyers tend get distracted when you flounce certain areas of your body.

Emily shivered. She faced her mom once again. "I'm just going to visit an old...pal of mine. He took something from me. That's all."

"Fine, but I want to know where you are every two days got it?"

"Make it four" Bargaining seemed to be her mother's favourite pass time.

"Three and you take your new phone" Patti said. As expected. Emily pretended that bothered her, and then agreed. She could have made her way up to seven days, but she didn't think they were going to stay THAT long.

"Deal"

* * *

An hour later...

"Meow"_. _Mystery the Kitty Cat circled her master's legs as they walked the dark streets of Dublin with Emily's mother up ahead. Patti had forgotten to arrange transportation so now they attempted to find something resembling a taxi. Sabbath, Miles and NeeChee were trailing behind. Emily, all the while, wrote in her new journal.

_December 13_

_Sup Journal,_

_I have arrived in Ireland. So far so good. The place is kinda cool actually. I'm  
hoping I can hit those dark old mansions I saw coming here. Any hoodle, Mom  
has forgotten to find us a mean of transportation, and I suggested I hot wire a  
car. She said no, duh. Have made a list of the things I hope to accomplish while  
I'm here. The time is limited of course, but with some help from my cats and my  
new Multipurpose Nail Filer (Nail Filer PAH HA!), I think I can manage at least this:_

_One: Rescue kidnapped golem and her lover_

_Two: Finish creating my hydraulic press._

_Three: Crush Attikol's newest ridiculous scheme_

_Four: Visit Aunt __Emeralda __Aisteach old home_

_Five: Practice using Black Rock spells_

_Six: Get mom a boyfriend (though this might have to be left for last.)_

_Seven: Prowl the outskirts of Dublin by night_

_Eight: Cause some much needed mayhem (seriously I haven't pulled a prank in three years)_

_Nine: Contact Jakey to see if he can tell me anything about Attikol._

_Ten: Write a song (my guitar has been a bit lonely)_

_Eleven: Take Sabbath to see a vet (he's been putting the moves on Mystery again)_

_Twelve: Refresh my Irish_

_Thirteen: Discover what exactly I'm feeling..._

_That last one has to do with the weird sense I got when I stepped off the plane.  
It was like woooossshhh (pardon my vocab), then I instantly felt my magic travel up and down my  
spine. It's weird. You, journal, obviously remember how I received my black rock when  
I was thirteen. Well, it was like that, but to a lesser degree. It was still a giant nerve  
racking feeling though. Mom assumed it was jet lag, but in all the years she's raised  
me, when have _I_ ever suffered from time disorientation? Don't make me laugh.  
Well write ya later journal, mom has managed to flag down a driver._

Indeed they did receive help, from a wholly rich looking girl around Emily's age, with tight blonde cork screw curls. She didn't acknowledge them, but that suited Emily just fine. Patti tried to make small talk, but it was clear the girl had only stopped to help them out of pity. The limo (yes limo) they were in was wide and silent inside. The only words that had been uttered were: "Where are you headed" and "The Maidens Hotel" None of which had been uttered by the girl. Emily recognized the chauffers accent. It was distinctly French. No wonder the girl didn't speak to them, they were Americans.

Finally they made it to _Na Maighdeanacha _Hotel. Emily and her cats got out without saying a word (or meowing), but Patti turned around.

"I'm sorry, can I ask you your name to thank you properly, honey?"

She looked at them finally.

"Minerva, Minerva Paradizo"

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**A/N As you can tell, Emily is kind of the opposite of classy. I guess that's the reason I paired Artemis and her off in the first place, she has a lot of Holly and only the brains of Minerva. *Hides from incoming rocks* Relax, this is still just an adventure between them. PS: In Emily's comics she's thirteen, but I've made her an older version of herself.**


	3. Capture

**A/N I knew that when I posted this story it wouldn't be epically popular, since most people are A/H fans or A/M fans, and I'm one too(Massive A/H fan you got here). Thanks for the reviews, guys. PS: pardon my French in this chapter.**

**REad & ReVIeW**

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Chapter 3

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.

…Present Time...In a certain genius's "humble" abode.

After meeting Holly in the city and returning home with Myles and Beckett, Artemis unexpectedly greeted another one of his rather close female acquaintances. Minerva Paradizo. The French heiress had been invited over by his mother, Angeline Fowl, who sat with her in the den instead of the living room, where they usually accepted guests. At seeing her son, Angeline explained that she and Minerva were going to attend an environmentalist's banquet and were arranging when to meet before they left. Soon though, Myles and Beckett, interrupting their chat, had run to their mother's side.

"Well then, if you don't mind Minerva, Artemis." Angeline excused herself, gathering her twins and departing from the room. Calling back to them, she added "Minerva, I'm sure Artemis can make you comfortable." Then she flashed them a million dollar smile and scurried out of there.

Oy…

Now only Artemis and Minerva remained in the family room. Alone… The air was suddenly infused with the butter-thick awkwardness that always arose when Minerva visited. Both of them felt stiff as sticks inside, but on the exterior they exhibited those relaxed and elegant facades. But surely, if someone were to walk into the room, he or she would feel the tremendous stagnant ambiance. Artemis knew that he had to murder the silence before it grew in size, so he faced her. "_Bonjour, _Minerva."

"Good day to you too, Artemis." She smiled, finally. Her blonde curls bobbing as she talked. Her rigid shoulders eased, and just like that the two were familiar again. Artemis smiled back and extended his hand like he always did. Minerva took it without protest, and still grinning, walked with him. The two headed out.

It was the same routine over and over again, and Artemis didn't mind it much. He knew Minerva didn't mind it at all. He also knew where this was going, or where Minerva wanted it to go. As they walked outside the Manor (in the rose garden Angeline had demanded to be made), Artemis debated with himself whether he should ask Minerva out already or wait for her to grow tired of him. The truth was, he didn't want to disappoint her, but he also didn't want to rush something he was no longer sure about, but there had been a time where he had been sure (oh say two years ago). He wished Holly could give him so more advice on this particular situation.

It wasn't like he didn't fancy Minerva. He just didn't fancy her as much as he had when they were younger. He liked talking to her. They understood each other's jokes and thoughts. They shared the same interests in music, literature and education. And most importantly: They were both prodigies. It was all he could want. But as Holly once pointed out to him. _All you want Artemis, isn't necessarily all you need. _And speaking of Holly, he still didn't know what he felt about her either.

Currently Minerva spoke about her day yesterday. Artemis was zoned out. Well, as zoned out as Artemis Fowl could be. He subconsciously listened while he thought about other things. Mainly, the Black Rock. Minerva went on and on about how she'd gotten off her jet, and then went to visit a little shop in Dublin, and after that she made the trip here…

"I would have been here _plus tôt _if we hadn't stopped to help two _American_ tourists." Her voice didn't reveal disdain exactly, more like a slight irritation. Artemis wasn't fond of American tourist either. Actually, he wasn't fond of any tourist.

"There was a simple looking woman, and this absolutely nightmarish looking teenage girl. She was about our age, horrible posture, with long onyx black hair, sickly pale skin and _oh purée! _The way she was dressed. I don't mean to be a snob, believe me Artemis. She had on a black dress, with black stockings, and then to top it all off, white Mary Janes. That wasn't the worst of it."

"It wasn't?" Artemis said curiously, needless to say on the inside he wasn't so.

"Absolutely not, when my chauffer stopped and opened the door; she entered with _four_ black cats in her wake. If I had been superstitious I would've fainted." Minerva fanned herself.

"She seems like a rather strange character, probably a Goth forced to come out her cave." He chuckled. It wasn't a chuckle that suited him. He didn't like making sour jokes.

"Entirely, when she left my car I was completely relieved. She had this _aura_ about her. It seemed to me like she's here to cause mayhem. I suppose I'm being melodramatic, of course."

Artemis recalled the last bits of conversation he'd had with Holly. _Foaly said that the Black Rock has a vessel, well more like an owner now. He/She will give off an eccentric atmosphere. This person might seem abnormal, dress abnormal, talk abnormal, but don't be fooled, the person __**is**__ abnormal. This is because of that human, elf loving, woman__. Emeralda Aisteach. She was an abnormal person herself._

" Describe this "aura" for me." He asked Minerva.

Minerva made a slight ah noise. "The only way to describe it would be _magical. _But _not_ in a good way. It was like staring at a living breathing dagger. Her eyes were stony black and she didn't speak for the entire ride."

"Did _you_?"

"Well no, but I was the one who offered the ride."

Artemis inquired further. "I see and where did you say you were taking these two women?"

"I didn't say..." She gave him a questioning look. "But it was _Na Maighdeanacha _hotel." Artemis waved off her look, explaining that he was simply showing interest in the conversation. The information given to him though, was something he wasn't going to forget. It was strange how he was showing such interest in such a little case, but the truth of the matter was: Artemis was bored. He was bored because his adventures had arrived to a sudden halt, and because his life had become a daily routine. Holly knew this, and that's why she enjoyed having information she could withhold from him, but she wasn't evil. So occasionally, when she had assignments like the one she was on currently, she let Artemis tag along. Artemis appreciated this, but never said so.

And speaking of the devil. His wrist was vibrating. The skin coloured communicator was signalling him to pick up (or in this case, press his thumb). He grabbed Minerva's hand, kissed it, and then apologized for having to leave so suddenly.

"No worries Arty." She said kindly. He knew it was a term of endearment, but it still made him flinch imperceptibly.

"Good bye Minerva."

.

.

* * *

.

.

"How's it going _Arty_." He heard Holly chuckle through the communicator. He refrained from rolling his eyes, but darn was it hard.

"Do you have valuable information for the case, or are you just slacking?"

"Ouch, this is coming from the person who isn't really on the case to begin with." She scowled at the communicator screen. "And yes, I do, do you?"

"I always do, but so far they're merely assumptions, proceed."

"Well it turns out our vessel is a girl, but here's the incredible thing. Foaly found absolutely no information on her. None. The only way he was able to figure out the owner's gender was through reading old archives. Seems like the magic only flows through the female part of Miss Emeralda's family tree. The other half, the male half, is only users. Hence, Attikol. Now it's your turn, shoot"

Artemis digested this information first, and then looked straight into the communicator. "Minerva came across two American tourists on her passage here. One of which was a young female girl. She described her distinctly in the following ways, about our age, long black hair, dark eyes, dressed in all black except for her shoes, and grim... Ah, yes, she also informed me the girl had horrible posture, but I suppose that is irrelevant."

"American..." Holly whispered softly.

"Is there some sort of revelation to that."

"Isn't there always. Foaly mentioned that the archives come to an abrupt halt. Mind you, these are journal pages, so it could just mean this Emeralda woman died, but Foaly remembers a series of entries in where an American farmer appears recurringly. It's just a theory, but this could mean Emeralda and her cats might have packed up and tailed it across the pond."

"Her cats? Did this journal mention anything about her having four peculiar black cats?" He asked.

"Why yes it did, and let me guess. Minerva's American stranger happened to have four peculiar black cats with her." He could hear Holly clapping slowly. "What a small world."

"Yes I suppose it is, and we might be able to find this vessel easily enough, for I know where she and her mother are staying. What are you going to do once you have her?"

"Analyze her, make sure she's not up to no good. Hopefully she can take that man Attikol back with her. Stingy character that one." Holly narrowed her eyes. "Aren't you going to give me her location."

"You know the arrangements." He smiled that vampiric smile of his. Something he missed doing oh so much.

Holly stuck out her jaw then agreed. "You can come Fowl, but don't scare the poor girl."

"Very well, she's at the Maidens Hotel. _Na Maighdeanacha _Inn." He told his wrist.

"_GOT IT" _Came a different voice from the communicator. Holly and Artemis's screens were shrunk as Foaly appeared in High Def. He grinned at the human and the officer. "You didn't think I was going to pass up a chance to sneak into the conversation did ya!"

"Good afternoon, Foaly" Artemis and Holly said in unison.

"Well don't sound too sad about it chaps. Thanks for the info Arty. I'll have the girl's name in under a second. THERE! Woah...strange name. Haha! Oy Bad pun."

"Just tell us the name Foaly." Holly scratched her forehead.

"Emily Strange. Get it! Ha ha!" No one else but him laughed. "Fine. Just so you know. She and her mother are out in the city so you might wanna..."

"We're on it." Artemis called to the screen, exiting as he did so.

.

.

* * *

_._

_._

_"People think that I must be a very strange person. This is not correct. I have the heart of a small boy. It is in a glass jar on my desk."_  
_**-****Stephen King**_

_**.**_

_**.**_

Emily has many pet peeves, but her biggest pet peeve, the one she absolutely hates, is to be looked at. It was inevitable though. It was almost impossible not to look at her. And Dublin had a way of lookin'

She was currently mounted on her ripped up turbo skate board. Miles, NeeChee, Sabbath and Mystery all trailing behind her. The site of a pale girl, dressed in almost all dark, riding a skateboard on the streets of Dublin while leading a group of black cats was bound to earn some attention. The on-lookers wondered if this was a new teenage fad. Others wondered if the Grimm Reaper had fathered a daughter. Most just thought Emily was crazy.

Which is pretty much why she decided to ride her skateboard in an alley, you know, just to get out of their way. Anyway…

Patti had stopped to buy some knick knacks and decided to let Emily 'off her leash'. Emily took the upmost advantage out of this. She, tearing her way out of the shop, pulled out her skateboard and blasted into the street. It was sweet relief, and she was eating it up. She didn't care if she pretty much looked like a side show. Every now and then she would take picture of a statue, a bridge, an unsuspecting person, and her favorite thing: a shocked citizen who had fallen victim to one of her skateboard tricks.

All and all, Dublin wasn't so bad. She actually liked it quite a lot. The people were friendly, gullible, easily impressed, and bad judges of character. Just like in America. The sites weren't bad either. She liked the look of the medieval buildings, and gothic themed cemeteries. She also liked (whether she admitted it or not) the other cites, the general male population. They were all so intriguing in a European way. At this, she slapped her forehead. She came here for one purpose and one purpose only, and the only men she should be looking at should be around thirty and looking for an artsy middle aged mother. Her own mother to be exact.

While she turned the corner of an alley, Emily lessened the speed on her skateboard. She was cruising nice and easy, when she felt something whizz past her.

_Zoom._

She heard a very distinct yowl and came to an abrupt halt. Slowly she turned…and then gasped. Her cat NeeChee was down! The ringed tailed feline was sprawled on the alley pavement. Her other cats were beginning to gather around their fallen friend. Emily threw down her board.

"NeeChee! NeeChee!" Bending down, she pressed her ears to the cat's body. "You're still breathing –what the he—"

_Zoom. Zoom. Zoom._

Emily watched as each of her cats went down. She stood up and looked around her. There was this surge of adrenaline in her system and she didn't know what to do with it. She hated when she couldn't control her emotions. She pushed herself up. Unexpectedly, a dart flew by her ear. It was thick enough for her to realize that it was meant to sedate something bigger than a cat.

_Zoom._

She darted away, grabbing her skateboard and scrambling to get on it. She could hear it clearly now. The pursuer. The shooter was following but she couldn't tell from where. She threw her weight on the board and gained speed. For the first time in three years, Emily was truly scared for herself. No one had ever gone for her cats first, never. Could this be Attikol trying to gain comeuppance for landing him in jail? She wasn't about to find out. As she pushed, her legs were starting to reach their maximum strength and velocity.

But her board wasn't.

In a blink of an eye the wheels of her skateboard snapped off. (They hit a certain elf in the face without Emily noticing) She was literally now hovering over the ground. She had to be careful. This particular invention of hers was only a prototype. If she crashed, then the design was done for, and consequently so would she. She kicked the side of her skateboard and she whooshed past. The alley ways gave way to more alley ways. They wound and dipped and curved. Emily made a mental note to where she could find these paths in the future. They were kinda cool regardless of her situation.

Nearing the end of a particularly slithery alley, sat a homeless man. She called desperately for him to move out of the way, but he must've been deaf because he didn't move at all. She was going to have to go over him.

_Zoom!_ Another dart.

She kicked the board. The delivery seemed perfect. Her angle and speed were just right. She was so close to the city she could feel it.

But then

The homeless man stuck his hand out and grabbed her ankle, successfully wrenching her of the board.

"KYAAA Flackbarks!" In three years, Emily still hadn't learned to curse properly. She felt her whole body go upside down. The homeless man wasn't a man but a homeless mountain. Or whatever. She tried frenziedly to assess the situation, but adrenaline must truly be the enemy of the mind because she couldn't think straight.

"Good job, Butler! She's like a cat! I couldn't get one shot on that one!" A female voice.

"Get a load of that board. Bring it in Holly, I wanna do some examinin'." A staticky voice, much farther away.

"I believe our guest is about to lose consciousness. You might want to sedate her beforehand." Another male voice: the one Emily decided to remember.

She'd get revenge for sure.

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**A/N Kidnapping seems to be a thing with Artemis.**


	4. First Impressions (Rewritten)

**A/N I'm finally back. I'm going to be constantly editing things about this story, previous chapters included. I don't think the world is ready for Emily and Artemis yet, lol! So this won't be a romance. To answer a certain question. :) No I don't speak French. However I will be taking French next year. Will I keep writing this? Yes, but bare with me, it's going to be a semi-slow process.**

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She'd been extremely perceptive, agile, and almost inapprehensible. She wasn't what Artemis had expected.

Not. At. All.

"Meow"

"Artemis will you quit staring at the girl. You're scaring her cats, and you're kinda creeping me out too." Inside Artemis's laboratory, Holly sat next to Emily, the girl who'd managed to bonk her head with a skateboard wheel, adjusting her in the mechanism that would extract the teen's thoughts. She was having a bit of trouble considering the machine was meant for elves and not humans, and Artemis wasn't exactly helping by just standing there and looking pensive.

Holly hoisted the girl on a chair "Would you stop standing there looking pensive and help me!" Artemis nodded and Butler came to her aid. The elf narrowed her eyes. "Thanks _Butler_."

The ex-bodyguard grunted.

Meanwhile, Artemis's eyes switched focus and landed on the contraption that was entirely mutilated and lying on the floor. How had this girl created something as advanced as a hover board? He had an inkling, a slight hunch, that told him he was about to meet a rather ingenious girl. He didn't want to jump to conclusions of course, but even then, Artemis was planning his next forty-five steps. He was calculating how exactly he was going to approach this girl once she came to.

"Holly, is she strapped in yet? I'm ready to crack this puppy open." Foaly, the inventor of the thought extracter thing-a-ma-bob, could be heard messing with his keyboard on the other side of a widescreen.

The elf officer turned and scowled at the TV that was drilled onto one of the walls in Artemis's lab.

"You do realize this is a girl we're speaking about here." She flicked a switch above said girl's temple. "And she's ready to go. Don't harm her or anythin' you hear." As she walked away from the sleeping teen, Holly picked up one of Emily's cats, the only female in the group, and the one who stuck especially close to her master. She patted the small creature. "She'll be fine kitty."

Hopefully.

In the meantime, Artemis crossed his arms, rested his thumb and forefinger on his chin, and simultaneously observed both the apparatus and Emily's face. Holly didn't bother anymore. Instead, she watched Foaly from the corner of her eye. The centaur's usually golden eyes flashed green-screen light, moved over the monitor rapidly, and hardly blinked even when the bright flashes became too intense for Holly's own peripheral vision to handle. She could also hear various tapping noises from his side. The noises went on for minutes and then a half hour. Usually, this didn't take very long.

Just how much information did this girl have in her head?

"AHA!" The tech wiz exclaimed, and made the cat in Holly's arms jump and wriggle out. Holly raised her copper eyebrows and frowned. "What is it Foaly?"

"Two things. One, the lass's surname clearly fits her personality and two, her IQ is one point higher than yours Fowl! I wonder what it is you human's are feeding your kidlings."

Artemis raised a rather curious eyebrow.

There was something a genius never admits to himself, and that's when someone else's superior intelligence bothers him to no end. _One point higher than yours. One point higher than yours. One point higher than y—_

"Is she here to meddle with the People?" He questioned. His tone was steady regardless of his response. He talked in a clipped tone by nature, so no one could really tell if he was bothered by Emily's IQ or not.

Oh but he was. You see, if there is something teenagers are, then that something is envious. For a prodigy like Artemis, envy comes rarely, but when it does, it becomes a pesky little green monster dancing across his shoulders.

Foaly replied to Artemis's question. "No she isn't, she's just here to get rid of that Attikol character. And it seems she's in a bit of a pickle. That man has managed to kidnap some of her cohorts.

"Well that's terrible. Are we allowed to intervene?" Holly said whilst she petted a ring-tailed cat on the head.

"Nope, and it seems she's got everything under wraps anyway, she—"

They all stopped moving when a groan sounded from behind them.

.

.

.

* * *

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_Tact is after all a kind of mind reading.  
-Sarah Orne Jewett_

_._

"Holy flapjacks. My head...ugh" Emily blinked and slowly adjusted to the lighting in the room. She stiffened when she felt something rubbing against her leg. A light and familiar purr hummed right next to her. Emily, finally coming to, found her four kittens (cats) huddling close to her in an ever-needed welcome. "Guys! What the hell happened?" The purring became louder.

"I see you've finally risen."

It was that voice!

Rage shot through her like a torpedo (Okay it was more like a very slow missile, but that's because she was still a bit groggy). She wondered for two seconds how exactly she was going to confront this loon, but when said loon stepped forward, she didn't ponder it any further. The fangs were coming out. She lifted her cold black eyes to meet friendly animated blue ones. It was a young man who looked about her age, raven hair, pale complexion, slender built (she could totally take this guy to Chinatown, if you catch her drift) wearing a fancy smansy suit. Same boy lifted an eyebrow. "You were unconscious in an alley, you've must've taken a nasty fall on your skateboard. I brought you to my residence."

_Boloney. _Thought Emily, but for the first time since she'd woken up, she studied her surroundings. Above her hung bright crystal lights that stung her eyes, on her left, framed paintings that weren't exactly contemporary in style, on her right, a grandiose looking hall. She was sprawled on a sofa within this stranger's den it seemed. Her head hurt terribly, her knees were scraped, her hair was...messy as always, and –

"OH NO!" She abandoned her comfortable position on the sofa and scrambled her way to the wrecked metal contraption in front of the boy's feet. Emily sighed heavily. "Oh you poor invention of mine. I see it was simply not meant to be. I bid you adieu" With that she sat back and collapsed melodramatically, only to be met with a pair of hazel eyes. "Er...who are you?"

The figure gasped and didn't respond. She backed away in a panic and then her figure was replaced with the previous guy's slender body. _He _addressed her like a child. "Who is who? I see no one but you and me."

Oh this guy was good. He didn't even bristle as the small woman hid behind him and gripped the fabric of his clothes. Emily rolled her eyes. "I can clearly see you. I can be a slight maniac, but I'm not delusional."

The woman was gaping as if Emily had just broken the fourth, fifth, and sixth walls. Intervening, the male came forth and extended his hand. "Pardon my manners, I'm Artemis Fowl."

"Pardon my manners, I don't care" Emily eye's turned to slits, making Artemis straighten. "Are you working with Attikol?!" She studied him, going into full interrogative commando mode. "No…you're too rich to get involved with someone like him. You probably don't know who he is either, or maybe you do!" Approaching Artemis like a panther, she continued. "Look. I'm not looking for trouble. I don't know who you are and I don't want to know who you are or YOU for that matter" She referred to the tiny woman scratching the back of her head in amazement. "I'm going to leave, with my cats,_ unharmed_ from this place._ Capisci_?"

Static…and then a voice.

"Oye! One bad temper you got there missy." Emily whipped around but found absolutely no one behind her. "On his wrist dearie!" The voice spoke again. Artemis was scratching his wrist, (Trying to turn off the blasted communicator) and nonchalantly standing aside. The woman was holding her head, and mumbling. Emily wretched Artemis's wrist out of his sleeve and looked at it.

Then she dropped it. "What is that! What is that thing!" The person who'd been talking through the communicator wasn't a person at all. It was a—

"Centaur darling. Use that pretty little noggin of yours."

"Foaly! Come on. I could've shielded! We could've sold it!" The miniscule woman said in response to the "Foaly" character. Emily tried to ignore the fact the woman also had ears the size of carrots.

"We couldn't have sold tarts to this girl, Holly. Without your magic and equipment you're like fresh meat at a troll gathering!" Foaly remarked. "The shielding won't work _now. _Let's just hope another genius doesn't avoid the mind-wipe."

"Sorry. She caught me off guard, and I didn't even think about shielding. D'arvit."

Emily was slowly putting pieces together in her head, while the tiny woman with giant ears spoke WITH THE CENTAUR (This little fact was still making Emily's head spin) She gulped."You guys kidnapped me…and then…this dude." She pointed to Artemis, who by the way was no longer smiling animatedly and was truly frowning, the facade clearly over. "Took me to his home and you're an elf." She pointed to the woman, Holly, it seemed. "I'm guessing this has to do with my Aunt Aisteach's Blackrock."

"Brava. You figured it out."

Emily scowled at Artemis's snarky comment. "I still have no idea what you guys want from me?!"

"Pardon. You have nothing valuable to offer us. We simply needed some information and now we've received it. We assure you it was nothing malignant." Artemis continued to frown at Emily as he explained. He wasn't impressed with her behavior at all. He was actually surprised by the fact that this girl was a point smarter than him, more than likely Foaly's information was seconds out-dated.

Emily didn't trust the guy, but the woman in the background seemed genuinely innocent. Going from angry to uninterested, she picked up her cat NeeChee and scratched his ear. "Well in that case, I'm sorry for crashing your system."

"Pardon me?" Artemis replied.

Just then, Domovoi Butler entered the den holding three black cats, wires protruding from their kitty mouths. "Your computers have been rendered obsolete, Artemis. That includes your four laptops and five handhelds."

Everyone in the room gaped (except for the culprit.). Emily gave a sheepish grin. "Yeah. I _can't _pay for that. And in my defense, I didn't know what the heck you guys wanted, and why you guys had to knock me unconscious to get it. You also made me destroy my hover skateboard. So, if you guys really aren't out to kill me...can I leave now?"

Holly, the first to come out of the silent stupor, blocked the human's path. "NO. You have to promise something!"

"What?"

Artemis turned. "More than likely a mind-wipe will be ready for you tomorrow. But, you have to promise not to reveal what you saw today." He gestured towards Holly, who felt rather self-conscience under their scrutiny.

"Okay."

Now_ Artemis_ blinked. "Okay? Just Okay?"

"Yeah. Why would I want to reveal something as big as the existence of elves and centaurs? Society sucks, they'd probably dissect them."

"Revenge perhaps." Artemis offered.

Holly and Foaly stared at each other through the communicator incredulously.

Emily shook her head. "I'm into entertaining petty revenge. I mean I CAN be evil, but that usually comes with dire consequences. I'd rather stick to crashing and trashing."

"I understand…" Artemis's eyebrows furrowed. He didn't really.

_Ring Ring Ring_

"That would be me." Emily reached into the seemingly endless pockets of her dress and pulled out a cellular phone. (Holly wondered how exactly she found anything in there. Butler had personally searched her and found nothing but trash and minor weaponry.)

"_Emily? It's Jakey. I mean Jake gah! I'm calling about Attikol. Something really weird is going on. Like out of this world going on."_

Now this was new, but then again what about today wasn't. Jakey was Emily's cousin who had some kind of abnormal talents (psychic, mind reading cousin-dude extraordinaire, more like it). She'd called him earlier for some deets on Attikol, but she never expected for him to reply so quickly.

She frowned. It seemed like everybody in the room was waiting for her to recount what the caller had said. Even though it should have been none of their business. "What do you mean Jakey, I'm not a mind reader. Explain."

"_It's Jake now, gosh Emily. I'm not nine anymore. Anyway...How do I put this without sounding like a total psychopath. Okay...uh...Attikol is in cahoots with an evil sprite thing."_

"Come again." She didn't think that he sounded exactly like a loon. Just mentally perturbed.

"_It's as weird as it sounds! I got your message about looking into Attikol's evil plot, and things were pretty normal to start off with, but then I caught a glimpse of some_thing_ completely out of the ordinary. I-"_

Just then the centaur's voice cut through Jakey's hurried explanation. "Holly! We need you back at HQ. I've tapped into Emily's conversation and the boys right. Na'ane Jurgot , the sprite you sent to our penitentiary two weeks ago has gone missing. Last time she pinged was two hours ago."

Holly, quickly responding to his orders, strapped on her helmet. "Geez Foaly, we don't lock these creeps up just so they can get out when-"

"_Yeah!" _Jake said in response to Foaly's information, and also successfully interrupted Holly's little quip. _"Emily, I have no idea what the heck is going on, but Attikol and this Na'ane woman-slash-thing have seriously got it out for you and the Blackrock." _Jakey paused and heaved a sigh. "_This is too weird even for you. Surreal! I mean Elves and-"_

"I thought we made it clear that reading my mind is both dangerous and off-limits." Emily's frown was getting deeper by the second. All she wanted was to kick Attikol's arse, send him back to jail, and save Raven, the golem she created when she was thirteen. And this whole sprite thing was totally messing up her mojo.

"On a scale of one to ten, Jakey. How troublesome would this Na'ane sprite be?"

"_On a scale of one to ten?"_

"Yes"

"_One hundred."_

After hanging up, the raven haired female turned to her former captors and whistled, rudely gathering their attention. Whatever was going was on not gonna go on without her. "Okay. So it looks like my silly nemesis, Attikol, made some friends while I was here. Do you guys know the low down on him?"

Through her helmet, Holly informed Emily that they only knew as much as the FBI, CIA, PBS (the Partnership of Bad Supervillains) and police reports had on him.

"Okay then." Emily sat back down on the couch, being instantly surrounded by her four cat companions. One of them held her journal, the whereabouts of which had been previously unknown to Emily. She grabbed it and petted Sabbath, her mischievous cat with a cropped ear, his errand greatly appreciated. "He's a man I met when I was thirteen. Back then I didn't have my Blackrock, or my powers, so I was pretty much competing with him to get them. He's very very loosely, my Uncle"

"So he's related to you?" Artemis queried. "I thought you only descended from a long line of dark evil witches."

"I'm going to ignore how you know that. Yes I do descend from a long line of dark witches, not necessarily evil, just _unique_. Except there's a branch in my family tree that involves a line of shady sorcerers. Attikol is not one of those shady sorcerers; mind you he IS a sorcerer but-"

"He doesn't hold the powers passed down from generation to generation by Miss Emeralda Aisteach." Artemis gathered as much, and he was about to speak again when he caught a glimpse of Emily's glower. She was staring intently at him, and for a second it looked like she was about to say something, but then she closed her mouth and went back into an expressionless mood.

Everyone stopped talking the moment a maid (recently hired) entered the den. Holly had actually remembered to shield this time around. "Sir. Miss Paradizo is on the line." The maid said, and then retreated when Artemis nodded.

" 'Sir' just how old are?" Asked Emily.

"My age is complicated."

The ebony haired female observed him. What the heck was that suppose to mean?

"I've travelled through time and have been placed into a body of a clone that would have been my original age had I not travelled through time... if what I was told is correct. I'm actually sixteen." Artemis deadpanned.

"Ah" Emily nodded. She herself knew the complications that arose from cloning AND time travel.

As much as the abnormal conversation entertained Foaly, he had to intervene by telling Holly the current situation. Attikol had become a problem in a matter of seconds.

"It seems we're going to need your help Emily." Holy approached her carefully, taking a very big note that Artemis wasn't exactly on her good side.

"Let me guess. Attikol and Ms. Sprite have disappeared from the radar."

Foaly cut in. "Yes that's exactly what happened- how did you?"

"Magic performances. It's his thing."

"Well, will you help?" He asked.

"Course. It's about time I went on another adventure."

"I find myself thinking the same." Artemis agreed, already heading out the door with Holly.

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**A/N I might have to clarify that Artemis's age is made up in this. You read the books, and you know what I'm getting at. His age is well...complicated.**

**Hope You Like ~BC Review Please.**


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